October 2011

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This is Halloween

Two Monkeys
Luca and Kitty Trick or Treating
On to the next house…
Skull bucket is getting heavy
All pau time to head home
Nom Nom Nom

 

We decorated our house.  Every night this month Luca has demanded to come outside to see the lights, touch pumpkin light, touch lantern, walk out and say hello to the ghosts upstairs, say goodbye to the ghosts, walk back touch cob webs, touch spider, touch two little pumpkins,…. repeat indefinitely.

Along with the decorations we had thunder and lightening and were bumping the Nightmare Before Christmas Song

 

We live on a cul de sac with 10 homes and 11 kids, most under the age of 3.  Luca was very excited to head out and quickly picked up the routine… knock knock… doot doot deet (trick or treat)… thank you, bye bye. After we got home he handed out candy to the other kids as they stopped by.

Lets GO!!!

Trick or Treat

Next House

Time to head home

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When I think back on my father and our relationship I think of strength, guidance and strictness, but most of all love.  Don’t get me wrong – if you know me and you know my family, you know it was/is sometimes a bit chaotic.  If you’ve met my dad you would probably remember him by his handlebar mustache, and if you saw us interact you either saw us hugging and goofing around or me somehow trying to avoid a conflict.  My father and I had an interesting dynamic of fear, respect, love, anger, and plenty of tension.  I was too smart and afraid to argue with him directly, so when he grounded me, I ran away. When he took out the coil wire from my car so I couldn’t run away, I stole the coil wire out of his truck and drove off again.   Because of our relationship, I’ve wondered and sometimes feared what type of father I would be.  In some ways I completely reject parts of who my father was.  In other ways I am my father.  How would I be as a father?  Would I fail?  How would I handle conflicts and stress?  How would I balance work and family?  Would my son respect, love, and admire me? These questions still scare me to this day.  I’ve seen the best and worst a father can be.  Where on that scale will I fall?

As Luca sleeps upstairs and Kitty is busy sewing his Halloween costume, I find my thoughts, as they often are, filled with my son.  I can’t say I’ve ever been as scared as when Luca had his first fever, as proud as when Luca jumps into the water at swim class, as happy as when Luca yells Dada and runs into my arms, as frustrated as when he refuses to listen and follow my well laid out plan, or as amazed as when he was born.  With that I can say becoming a father has been the single biggest life changing event I have experienced.  I told Kitty the other day that I noticed how emotional I’ve become.  I find myself crying at all kinds of movies, books, even some commercials, and anything with a father and son theme.  Growing up I became a master pragmatist and learned to control and strategically expose or block certain emotions.  Becoming a father sort of blew all that away.  It’s interesting because this isn’t something that happened consciously.  I didn’t say to myself, “I have a son now let me open up.”  It just happened.  I can’t say I always like it.  At times I feel far too vulnerable for my comfort level.  It’s with that that I come to the sometimes cliche realization that as I try to guide, protect, and teach Luca I myself am changing.

To sum it up Luca I am growing with you.  I won’t always make the best or right decisions.  And while I may not always guide you perfectly and we will definitely have our differences,  I will always do my best to be there for you to dust you off when you fall, stand by you when you are in trouble, wipe away your tears when your heart is broken,  answer all your questions about life, girls and baseball, and most of all I will always be there to love you and your mother with all my heart and more.

 

Until you have a son of your own . . . you will never know the joy, the love beyond feeling that resonates in the heart of a father as he looks upon his son. You will never know the sense of honor that makes a man want to be more than he is and to pass something good and hopeful into the hands of his son. And you will never know the heartbreak of the fathers who are haunted by the personal demons that keep them from being the men they want their sons to be.
– Kent Nerburn – from Letters to My Son

 

 


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Best Friends

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Pumpkin Patch

Time for our second annual visit to the pumpkin patch! This year was quite different than last year – a lot more walking and running around (on Luca’s part), and chasing after (on our part). While it didn’t end up being as muddy as last year, we came prepared this time with our rain boots – I think Luca was almost more excited about his yellow monkey boots than he was about the pumpkins. Actually I’m pretty sure the tractor that pulled us along for the hay ride was the highlight of the day for him. Here are some of our favorite moments:

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Pantry Tower

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Day at the Coast

A few weekends ago we decided on the spur of the moment take a day trip to the coast. So we packed up the car and headed out to Seaside.

First stop, carousel!

Uh oh, someone REALLY didn't want to get off the carousel.

OK, one more ride. We won't show you how upset he was after this ride. Let's just say we walked out of there as fast as we could.

Luca and Daddy are inspired by Lewis and Clark to forge their own path.

Cute boy on the beach.

I love the beach!

Beach face

Brushing off that pesky sand.

Time for a water break.

Ending the day on a good note.

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Watermelon & Pie

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Go Ducks!!!

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